November 17, 2012

The Enemy in the Midst of Excitement

Do you hear that? Can you smell it? The holidays are in the air, ladies and gentlemen, and I couldn't be more excited. This is without a doubt my favorite time of the year. I'm actually not sure if it would be possible for me to be more excited about the fast-approaching holidays as I am.

I like to remind my fiance that on the top of my "reasons why I'm marrying him" list is because he is just as excited for this time of year as I am. Growing up, both of us were the giddy kids on Christmas morning waking everyone up at 4:30 because, really, what's the point in trying to sleep if you're just that excited? Recently, I assured my parents that even though Cam and I will be spending our Christmas mornings together once we're married, we will make a point of waking everyone up so that our presence won't be missed too much...Oddly, my parents didn't seem to excited about my generous offer to call them repeatedly until they were up and at 'em on Christmas morning.

Oh, and if you're wondering, yes, I have already set up my Christmas tree. For those of you who just said some variation of "ugh, seriously?," it's only because I store my tree in my shed, and I have developed a phobia of spiders, which is ironic since I have a degree in psychology. Consequently, I was completely unwilling to venture into the shed to retrieve my tree without the help of either a) a disaster relief responder b) a firefighter, or c) Cam. Someone has to slay those spiders, after all, and it certainly won't be me, if the last time I had to do so is any indication of my ability to stay calm.

Me, waging war against the spider...
Or Charlie Sheen in Platoon, but you get the idea
You see, I found a spider lurking on the ceiling not long ago, and I prepared to wage war. I quickly fashioned a sort of jousting pole out of my broom. On the tip of the broom, I used a rubber band to secure a tissue to it, so that I could simply stab the spider with the broom handle, remove the tissue, and flush the pesky thing down the toilet...But not before I got out my rain boots, tucked my pants into them so that the spider wouldn't be able to crawl onto my leg, found a pair of rubber gloves, which I made sure covered my hands and also the ends of my long sleeves, so that it couldn't find its way up my sleeve. I then used the drawstrings on my hood to make sure the smallest amount of my face was showing as possible. As I jumped and screamed like a complete loon, I finally succeeded, and promptly threw out the gloves, and put my clothes into the wash. It's completely irrational, yes, but that's the nature of phobias, right?

Anyway, I couldn't bare the thought of finding a spider on or around the bin holding my Christmas tree, so Cam had the honor of dealing with that little problem the last time he came to visit.

Since I am a fan of Thanksgiving, and since I don't want to completely skip over it, I have not decorated the tree yet, and I won't be until after the Thanksgiving festivities are over. I must say, though, It does feel nice knowing that I won't be dealing with my little 8-legged arch enemies when I'm trying to enjoy the holiday season.

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