Beautiful Moments

Life is full of beautiful moments, of that I am sure. At times, this beauty is shrouded in mystery, in the form of pain, sorrow, or loneliness, but even in those, there is beauty. Pain, or at least emotional pain, is the reflection of love, sorrow a reflection of empathy and compassion, and loneliness a reflection of opportunity for more. Of course, in the moment of those times, it can be hard to see any beauty at all. Apart from these, however, are moments of pure, unadulterated beauty. Perhaps this means a warm summer's day, the comfort of an old friend, or the happy squeals of a newborn. 

During the last week, I was blessed with perhaps more beautiful moments than I could ever hope to count. Smiles, laughter, and quiet moments abounded, and again I was reassured that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Things are finally falling into place, and life is showing me just how every step, breath, and decision has led me to where I am in what seems to me to be far more than coincidence, more than just a beautiful mistake. 

Life is full of beautiful moments, of that I am sure.

Grown-Ups Have Boring Christmas Lists...

Have you ever heard the song "Grown Up Christmas List," which is a lovely, inspiring song that a number of different artists have recorded? It's one of my favorites, really.

The song is about a hope for a better world, one without suffering, one with compassion, and one with help for those who need it. It's a song that any peace-loving person would probably play on repeat as the holidays approach. What a nice thought, that especially during the holiday season, the world could enjoy peace, joy, and love. Sigh.

This year, my Christmas list is a little different, but still a grown-up one. Life is changing these days, and fast. I find myself thinking of cleaning products that need buying and cupboards that need cleaning. As I prepare for my big move before I start my new job, I keep thinking of things I need to acquire in order to have any sense of organization in my new place.

So what's on my grown-up Christmas list, which my grandmother nearly begged me to give her yesterday when I went for a visit?

A vacuum. A bright, shiny, quality vacuum. It's actually topping the list. I have been defeated by the Responsibility Gods, who have won the growing-up battle. Other items include a nice spice rack, a mirror/shelf/hook thingy so that I can hang up my coat and keys all in one convenient place next to my door. New sheets would be great, too.

Now that I'm looking at it, my Christmas list is a pretty boring one this year-it's all about practicality. Is this a trend in this economy, or is it just me? What's on your list this year?

Congratulations Are In Order!

The bride's sister took this great photo

This weekend, I had the honor of attending the wedding of a beautiful couple. The blushing bride was my "Big Sis" in Pi Phi, and was an amazing friend and mentor to me as I grew through times good and bad. Needless to say, I admire her in many ways.The dashing groom proudly sported his Marine colors, and makes a perfect match for Julia.

Julia is one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met. She constantly amazes me with her grace, patience and commitment to her faith. These qualities, of course, are paradoxical with the intensity with which she supports the Bears, and she can certainly make her displeasure known when they are losing.

I haven't known Matt long, and I can't say that I have had a chance to really get to know him, but Julia has told me enough about him that I feel quite comfortable saying that he is perfect for her. Just in the way they interact, anyone can see how much joy he brings her (and she, him), and how comfortable they are together. They share laughter easily, but naturally just click on the more serious matters in life.

Their ceremony was solemn, personal, and so heartfelt. Similarly, the reception was romantic, yet fun. I, of course, had no shortage of tears during both.

During the reception, arguably one of the most memorable moments occurred during the traditional father-daughter dance. I was seated with a group of other former Pi Phis who had made the trip. As the music began and the bride joined her father on the dance floor, our entire group nearly instantaneously burst into tears. We all began to look around the table and noticed that each of us was crying (minus one Pi Phi's husband, who had the misfortune of being the only male seated at our table), and giggled a little.

Then came the moment that defined the reception for us. As the father-daughter dance ended, the bride took the microphone and asked her dad to return to the dance floor. She explained that she had one more song to dance with him since she had long regretted not dancing with him during a high school dance (I missed the explanation here, but I'm guessing he volunteered to chaperon the dance). The song "Stealing Cinderella" by Chuck Wicks came through the speakers, only this time, our table was rendered near inconsolable. We cried, wiped our tears, and cried again, but noticed again that everyone at our table was doing so. This inspired a fit of laughter on all accounts, but the laughter didn't stop the tears.  In case anyone at the reception had been wondering where the "sorority table" was, there was no longer any question. The server looked bewildered with a side of concerned when he spoke to the next table and pointed to us, saying, "that whole table is laughing and crying...I don't know what to do!"

I have heard of people laughing and crying at the same time, but I never actually thought it could happen. I'm sure my brain was incredibly confused as to the proper response to such emotional contradiction. Leave it to Julia to show me anything is possible!

So here's to a beautiful wedding, an inspiring couple, and a very happy, blessed married life together. Congratulations, Matt and Julia!

Finding The Meaning Of Happiness

I caught up with a friend of mine, Kevin, yesterday, and we began talking about my last post and the idea of what makes people happy.

Here are Kevin & I just before leaving for
South Dakota a few years ago

Generally, our conversations either begin or end with a discussion about life and what makes people tick. Kevin is one of those people who is constantly dreaming big. Whether that be dreaming of a better world for everyone in it or of a new fantastic plan he has come up with for himself. Honestly, I wish I could dream like that, but I often find my creativity comes up a little short of thinking of a new business idea every day.

When talking with him yesterday, we got on the topic of good ol' Bhutan and how the idea of finding happiness, or defining it in some way, could be a blog in and of itself.

So here's what I'm wondering: what brings you happiness? I mean pure, unadulterated happiness. The kind of joy that comes from seeing your mom's open arms at long last after a week at summer camp as a kid, or perhaps being able to sit down with the one you love at the end of a long day and share a smile.

Here's where I'll interject with a small brag about my awesome boyfriend. I'm perfectly happy curling up on the couch with a movie and a bowl of popcorn, and I'm so glad he enjoys the same. I love the comfort that comes with being able to get dressed up and go out, but also being able to show up on his doorstep in sweats and disheveled hair after a long day.  It's good to know I can just be unapologetically...me.

So there's one example about what makes me happy, what about you?

Seriously, I'm really interested to see what you have to say, so please share!

Maybe I'll Move to Bhutan

...Okay, not really, but it's an interesting thought.

Bhutan is dwarfed by China and India, to be sure

Remember back in my first post when I mentioned I sometimes fill my head with thoughts of the happiness situation in Bhutan? That wasn't a joke, I really do think about the relatively small country in the heart of the eastern world.

A while ago, I was watching a video on Ted.com, my favorite source for fascinating videos and new ideas, and I couldn't help but smile when Chip Conley began speaking about the little plot of land full of Buddhist monks and beautiful views.

Back in the 1970s, a teenage king, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, came up with a rather revolutionary idea for measuring a country's success: why not measure success in gross national happiness as opposed to gross domestic product or some such other material measurement. This is no easy task, of course, because how does one go about measuring happiness? It's such a subjective topic, so defining happiness and what creates it can be difficult.

Think about it, though, what does really matter in life? Is it the fancy new car, or is it perhaps the cute little girl sitting in the back seat singing along to her favorite Sesame Street song? Is it the mansion on a hill, or is it the beautiful family you've built who lives in it?

Me? I'd take the family and love over a new car and huge home any day. After all, what good are those things when you have no one to share them with?

This is a photo of a Buddhist monastery in Bhutan...
That's a view I could handle every morning!

In the Ted.com video, Conley mentions an author who suggests happiness is the difference between having what you want, and wanting what you have. I love this. Try asking a child where they see themselves when they're grown up. What do they typically say?  "I want to be an astronaut, and I will be married and have lots of kids." They don't usually say, "I will be a senior accountant making lots of money so I can buy myself an iPad and end up divorcing my husband (or wife), then engaging in a nasty custody battle over our kids who drop their expensive toys all over the house."

Ok, maybe I took that a little far, and I'm certainly not suggesting that all senior accountants feel that way or that everyone ends up in such a rut, but how often do you hear of that situation these days? 

It's certainly interesting that the GDP takes into account how many nuclear warheads a country has as well as air pollution and TV shows that glorify violence, but doesn't account for the integrity of our public officials, health of our children, or the strength of our marriages. Do you think that's a little off? I do.

So maybe I'll move to Bhutan, or at least dream about it. Here's to happiness, may we all end each day with a smile. 

A Little Inspiration

Easily one of my favorite icons is Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I find her ability to remain ever-humble in a world where millions looked up to her, to be nothing less than saintly. I have been reading a few quotes by Mother Teresa each day, and I found one recently that stuck out to me as an ideal way to live life:

"Joy is very infectious. We will never know just how much good a simple smile can do. Be faithful in little things. Smile at one another. We must live beautifully."

A few things struck me as I read this particular passage. Notice how much emphasis she has placed on finding happiness through the simple things. She is consistent with this idea right down to her sentence structure, using just a few words in each sentence, but in such a way that the meaning is clear: our actions, however small, have a ripple effect. Why spread anger when it is so easy to simply smile?

I am just as guilty as the next person of sometimes letting my frustrations get the best of me. Heaven knows I have snapped at people who certainly did not deserve it when I was under stress. I believe it is fair to say this is one thing that is easier said than done at times, but the importance of common courtesies, as well as a simple smile is overwhelming. In fact, it can get you pretty far in life.

The view from the hotel parking lot--the whole town had
recently been destroyed by a tornado

A quick example: In May, Cameron and I were headed to a good friend's wedding in Arizona, which is a bit more than a stone's throw from my beloved Michigan. After driving all night and day, we landed in a tiny town at the end of Kansas, quite exhausted and unkempt after about 19 long hours of driving. The couple ahead of us was quite rude upon discovering that no, this hotel did not have presidential suites, as they had just rebuilt after a tornado wiped out the entire town not long ago. The woman at the front desk of the only hotel for at least 70 miles gave us the price of a room, which was a bit more than we had wanted to spend for a few hours' sleep. I thanked her for her help and Cameron and I quickly discussed whether we should bend the budget a little. The woman heard our situation, and offered to give us a discounted rate. We of course gladly accepted and thanked her profusely for her help. We ended up loving the experience we had there, right down to the Hot Pockets we ate for dinner from the local gas station since the restaurants had not yet been rebuilt.

Life's little lessons often stick with people, and I think that on that day we learned that simply by being kind, we were able to enjoy a great night's sleep in a state-of-the-art and green-friendly hotel, for less than we would have otherwise. It's a simplistic example, yes, but at the same time, it fits.

Regardless, I am very much enjoying this collection of Mother Teresa's quotes, and it has certainly helped give me a new appreciation for the world around me, even just a friendly smile. It really is the simple things, isn't it?